I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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