what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
