who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
two words: eviction party
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
