At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
