I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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