It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
