Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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