Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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