Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.

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(940): View more from Texas

Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.

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(469): View more from Texas

The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.

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(713): View more from Texas

You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".

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(703): View more from Virginia

There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake

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(435): View more from Utah

Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line

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(586): View more from Michigan

So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.

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(613): View more from Ontario

We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!

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