Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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