remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
