He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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