last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
