I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Randomize
