my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is Oprah even human
Sorry about my life...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
