guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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