I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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