the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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