And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
