But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
