By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
