what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
