I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
