filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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