Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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