I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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