in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
