Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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