just tell him i said nine months
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Randomize
