I love black thongs
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
