Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
