I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Four minutes until I can fart!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
