Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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