I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
