Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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