Im at strip club and am horny
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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