I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
