so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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