come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
