It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
