im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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