Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
