just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
