Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
