try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
