we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
