We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
