this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I want a musical about memes.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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