she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
