She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
His nipple licking is glorious
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
