I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
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