did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
