The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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