Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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