You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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