Where is the hickey?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
