I just made out with a guy for $7.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
