At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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