It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
