thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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