**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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